In St Pan’s missing Miss Pan

Pandora & her nana

Some sayings from the adorable Miss Pandora as posted by her Mama Jess - who is, as reported by someone who should know, “a very good mama”:

I opened my eyes this morning and Pan was grinning in my face, wearing two pull-ups on her arms. Pan: "This is my armour!" Me: (extremely sleepy) "What time is it?" Pan: "30 years. Time to get up!"

Pan has an imaginary friend. His name is Skug. He is often sick, is sometimes a baby, yawns too much and wants to talk to a star.

This morning Pan woke me up about five minutes before my alarm was supposed to go off. Me: "Don't wake me up before my alarm, Pandora" Pan: "But I wasn't tired anymore." Me: "But I was tired!" Pan: "But I wasn't?" Me: "What about Mama?" Pan: "What ABOUT you?" argh

Pan: "You be a stupid monkey, and I will be Skug." Me: "I don't want to be a stupid monkey!" Pan: "Yes you do."

Shortly after this, Pan said I could be Skug and she would be the stupid monkey. Me: "Hello stupid monkey, my name is Skug" Pan: "RARARA!" She then hit herself in the face & ran off.

Me: *changing Pandora's nappy* "You really need to learn to use the toilet, I really don't like cleaning up your poop" Pan: "You don't?" Me: "No! Would you like it if you had to clean up my poop?" Pan: "...I think..." Me: "Yes?" Pan: "I think I would like to be a crab."

Me: *looking for Pan, who is hiding* "PANDORA! Where are you??" *Pan jumps out behind me* Pan: "OI! THERE'S SPIDERS ON YOU! I'LL SMACK YOUR BACK!" *hits me hard in the back & runs off giggling* exhausting child is exhausting -_-

Pan just handed me an imaginary bird. Me: "What do I do with it?" Pan: "You have to pat it very gently, on its laigs. Then it won't bite you." (she pronounces any word with an 'eg' sound as 'aig')

Pan: "I see the bears! They're going to eat our porridge! I'll fight those bears away! RAR!" *she runs off*

I made pancakes this morning. Pan (watching me): "You're making little baby pancakes! WE'RE GOING TO EAT BABIES! :D" ..and later, thoughtfully looking at her hands - Pan: "I want to eat hands." *stuffs hands in mouth* "OMNOMNOM"

Pan is doing something out in the other room. She's alternating between saying "OWWW" and cackling like a witch. I should probably go check that out.

Me: "Did you eat your rice crackers?" Pan: "I ate some. But the green ones are a little bit cranky."

I’m going to lose track of all of Pan's imaginary friends. Along with Skug (a midget of varying gender, who lives in a house in my room) there is now also Lalor (a girl who is always off doing something somewhere else) and Franklin (a "really big boy" who is apparently "higher" than me).

Just found out little piggy Pandora has been requesting - and getting - a second breakfast every day at school :P

Just handed Pan her dinner (fish fingers & corn) - Pan: "It's SUPERRR YUCK :D" :(

Pan: *playing xylophone* "Once upon a time, there was a little dolphin, named Folty. Danana! Watch out for the dolphiiiin!"

Was lying on my bed sorting paperwork when Pan climbed up on my desk chair, and said "I AM THE KING OF THE CHAIR! Now, little seasnake, I'm gonna chuck you in the bin!"

Woke up this morning to pan lying in bed with her eyes closed moving her head from side to side slowly with her mouth wide open. When I asked her what she was doing she said "I'm a clown."

Pan picking the petals off a flower one by one this afternoon: "She doesn't love me, she doesn't love me, she doesn't love me..." She seemed quite happy about it o_O

Gracy was crying today and Pan said "Gracy, go to Mama. She's a very good mama!"

Just had to explain to Pan why the dishwasher, washing machine, fridge and car are all machines but the cupboard isn't. I had confused her earlier by telling her that machines are "things that do work" and she said "The cupboard does work of keeping toys". Now I'm telling her that machines are "things you can switch on" -_-

Rohan: Well, technically a machine is a device that uses energy to perform an activity. So, a shelf is not a device, but a cupboard door might almost qualify, by virtue of it having a hinge. Sure, it's not a lever, but in order to qualify as a simple machine it merely needs to modify the direction or power of applied force.

I passed this on to her and she said "My name is Tumblar and I'm a cat!"

Miss Pandora Turns Fwee.